options are not an option.
Message: 4        
   Date: Mon, 6 Dec 2004 01:02:33 EST
   From: volmail@aol.com
Subject: i never usually pisss and moan about...

Nashville Tn... but not this time... Cheessh!

What a town with it's head up it's ass... or maybe it's the club itself, i haven't decided. 
I played what i thought was a great show at the 5-spot in Nashville last Friday night...

Not only that, with the aid of the superbly gifted Kenny Hutson, we tore through about
16 songs and a few brand new ones...to no avail.

i think next to about 4 folks there no one out of the chatty crowd of 
20 gave a damn...i sold 1 CD.... Discouraged? You bet...

With no real "machine" behind this thing (i banished that idea when
Paste Music dropped the ball on PL) i'm probably doomed to forever play your 
basic holes in the walls of an ever changing face of over an saturated, 
image-as-narcotic, wannabe glutted markets on the lower rung of a 
rotting food chain...

i was told obscurity and insignifance had an address once...i guess i
never really came to grips with actually having to live there. I've had a
hard time paying the taxes, if you know what i mean. One likes to think they're
actually playing for a reason.

Career Advancement? Strategy? I was always told: "you gotta get your music up in front of the "right" 
people, the "right" bands, the "right" labels, kid!"  I hate cliques... always have... always thought God was bigger than all
the David Geffens' and Sonys and Universal Seagrams of the world... the same
dynamic operates all over the place in ever "hipper-than-thou" scene i've ever
tried to  crack...somes is "in" and "somes, day be out."

But like i said i always though God was bigger... i STILL think that.
I'd be the FIRST to admit that i'm not always happy with what He deals 
out...sometimes i feel like saying: "you know Lord, that's not good
enough right now." It maybe blasphmey but honesty usually comes before faith and growth.

i always hated what kind of person i seemed to be becoming whenever i 
tried to "work it" towards the "right" people....Screw that: there are  no
"right" people...there is either good music and artists with some to say...or 
there isn't. I'm not saying i always have even said "it" well...and Lord
knows i  can be tired and distracted and give a "lesser" performance...but not
often.  At my level of "marquee value," given the venues i have to work  in,
the obstacles at this level of no-safety-nets are often  psychologically
and physically crushing...Most of the time however, i proud  to say on most
nights that I "gave it all my heart."

The Recordings?
I can say that I've never released "filler" or unambitious tracks EVER.
You may have an affinity with the Americana stuff or the Poppier
stuff...but you won't find lazy paint-by-number tracks anywhere.

Paint-by-number is what I hear in that poor excuse for a music town...

I've played these high and mighty so-called music capitals, courted
their "boutique" labels and played their seminars before, where the general 
sorta malaise is that "if we haven't heard of you or you haven't kisses our
ass here you must be shit," vibe prevails. At the 5-spot there was even some 
ex-Capricorn A and R guy there who was pleasant enough to say hello,
but didn't stay for the set...i gave him a bunch of Cds and said: "call if ya need 

I don't think folks care about songs on most days... they're pretty
usless items it seems like... EVEN among the folks who F&^%$^#@ say that SONGS matter to them in 
places like Nashville me? i can't live without songs... writing them... listening to then, playing
them alone in the basement... crying over them, nurturing them... i hear SO
much in my  head i think it'll explode on some days... and then listening to
other's tunes... they keep me hopeful and happier... they grace my life... it's
almost like forgiveness.

I think my work is/has become more fragile...ever sense the darkness of 
Locket Full of Moonlight (which my label at the time didn't like nor
did they even review it)... but weaker and fragile...the deeper the risk the deeper the hurt when 
rejected...i have nothing left to put in front of anyone anymore...so
when some MF in nashville the other night was laughing about half way through
"Friendly Fire" i actually had a "healthy" homicidal thought...which i 
resisted... Oh well...a beer or two and some narcotic late night TV show and 
we'll...get up and do it again the next day..."Save me from bitterness and 
cynicism, Lord."

My life seems more fragile than ever before...i dunno: maybe it'll make for some great songs...

yes, God still seems bigger...
i just wish He didn't like "fragile" so very much...


Bill Mallonee has released 16 full-length albums over 14 years and received critical acclaim for each of his heartbreakingly beautiful works.  He plays 120+ gigs a year, and has done so for over ten years.   Bill Mallonee has toured with or opened for some of the business's big names, like the Dave Matthews Band, REM, and David Wilcox.  He has released his albums both through record companies, big and small alike, and independently and has garnered top 10 singles in AAA radio as well as Modern Rock radio.  His songwriting is often compared to that of Bob Dylan.  Also, Bill Mallonee is on the cusp of obscurity.

The following is an e-mail from Bill addressed to a fan list he is often found contributing to himself: